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344-2666 Last updated December 20, 2011 |
Al-Anon and Alateen
Family Groups
of
Al-Anon's monthly magazine, The Forum,
contains many personal stories of inspiration,
three of which are made available each month on the
Internet by authorization
of the Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters,
Inc.
Subscribe to The Forum or to read more articles published this month
Trusting the process of recovery
By Debbie S., California
My 22-year marriage to a recovering
alcoholic has been filed with times of peace and times of great calamity. There
have been times when I felt very close to my Higher Power, and times when I
wondered if He was there eat all.
We recently moved to the spectacular
central coast of California, to begin the next chapter of our life. I had to
leave friends and family behind. I knew I had to get plugged back into Al-Anon meetings
and start connecting to new people. There was a lot of fear and reservation
associated with this process. As I learned in Al-Anon, I had to feel the fear
and do it anyway. I had to trust the process of recovery.
One sunny Monday morning, I
decided I would walk to my meeting by way of the beach. I came across a small
river that flossed down from the hills into the ocean. I had my running shoes
on and thought if I walked up towards the hill, I could maybe find a place to go
around the river without getting wet.
As I walked upstream, the
body of water only seemed to get wider, so I decided to walk back towards the ocean
to see if there was a spot narrow enough to get over the river. Again, the
river never narrowed. Then, it hit me: I was going to have to go through this
water to get to the meeting on the other side.
I realized that this was a
metaphor for my life. I have always tried to find a way to avoid going through the
river of feelings and emotions to get to the freedom on the other side. I was
always in search of something or someone to distract me from the feelings. At this
realization, I began to cry. I knew that m Higher Power was trying to teach me
something.
As I trudged back up the
waterline looking for a spot to cross, praying to my Higher Power for guidance,
I saw a bog log lying in the sand. I thought if I put that log across the
river, it would cause some kind of a dam effect that would stop the water flow
long enough form me to cross to the other side. Sure enough, it worked and I crossed
safely.
This was a huge awareness
for me and I was so excited that my Higher Power used this as a tool to teach
me—one more time. I made it to the meeting just before it began. It should be
no surprise that the topic that day was fear and courage.
Life has its challenges and
I am learning to go through the process of recovery to meet those challenges. I
also understand today that my Higher Power is with me every step of the way,
guiding me along the river and through the river, giving me the courage and
strength I need for just that moment. As I reflect back, I know that my Higher
Power has always been with me—teaching, prodding, guiding, directing, and
loving me with every step and every breath I take. I am grateful to my Higher
Power, the fellowship or the program, and the tools that I have been so freely
given to me.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA.